Okay, I know you are going to "feel my pain".
Not, perhaps, because you have experienced the exact
same pain.
But, I know you have experienced
something very similar.
You do live on planet earth, after all......
First, a little background ---
Since I was about 12 years old, I have been on one weight-loss plan
after another.
In the early days, it was NOT my choice to be on a diet.
But, I was encouraged to lose weight in order to become more
likable, more appealing, to become, in a word...attractive.
Guess what that planted in my little pre-teenage brain about what it
takes to be "successful" in the world???? I know!! But....
that's a whole 'nother post(or twenty). I can't go there today :)
I've been "dieting" in one way or another ever since then - 40 + years now.
Man, am I tired!!!!!!
And I have discovered that all diets work. They do. You can lose
weight on any diet where you deprive yourself of food.
Not all of them are healthy. Not all of them are maintainable.
Not all of them have a result of keeping weight off for the
rest of your life.
But they work. I am at a place in my life, being older and wiser now,
where I want to lose weight for reasons other than lookin' good.
That ship has sailed, know what I mean?
I just want to live long, live strong, live loud, live right up until I die!!!
Sooooo, after several months now of having a very desperate need for,
yet really rotten attitude about attempting any more
"diets", with the accompanying tears, hunger, sadness and anger that a
diet always brings me,
I decided "Okay, I'm gonna give it another try."
Really, I'm very tired of being overweight, very tired of
being tired.
And besides, this was one of those "God-given"dreams I blogged about
earlier this year. I still truly do believe it is God's desire for
me to be healthier -- and that translates into
thinner.
I got my hair cut 10 days ago. I know this because I've been on this new eating plan for 9 days now.
My hairstylist is a living testimony for "low-fat" eating.
She has lost over 200 pounds!!!!
And is today, healthier and happier because of it.
I asked her advice. She laid out for me exactly how she did it.
It made sense to me.
Everything in me said "yes, this is what I need to do".
I prayed about it, had confirmation from the LORD.
Felt so encouraged. In a way I haven't felt in so long.
I was hopeful. I was going to eat well, eat low-fat, lose weight,
feel great, live long, live strong.....
I didn't realize really how very radical the change from my
usual diet to the low-fat diet would be.
But, I stayed on it --- to the letter !!!!!!
I've been hungry many times....painfully so.
But I've been hungry so many times in my life and
I know it's not always "stomach" hunger.
I know it's not always "stomach" hunger.
Most times, it is "soul" hunger.
Eating disorders are about soooo much more than
the food. It is such a big, emotional deal.
Many people sit back and wonder why, if a person is
overweight, they don't just stop eating?
OR just start eating right?
"Step away from the candy and ice cream!!"
THAT person has never had a struggle with
food as their addiction. Their comfort.
Their, dare I say it?.....God.
For some who are trying to lose weight, it may be just that...
they are just trying to lose a few pounds, get healthier.
For them, they will cut out all bread products
or
make some adjustment in the time of day they are eating
and
voila, they will lose the extra pounds.
And ..... I'm glad for them.
I truly am.
But for me it's about so
much more than the food.
For me, and I know this, I know this, I know this !!!
It is a spiritual issue.
It's about God wanting to be GOD in my life!
It's about desiring the Giver more than the Gift!
It's about the LORD growing the fruits of the Spirit
in my life.
It's about me letting Him do His work in my life.
It's about me cooperating with Him as He
refines me.
NOT so that I will be pretty and pleasing
to man.
But so that I will be who He has created me to be.
ALL that He has created me to be.
I need to tell you here that after 9 days of this eating plan,
I have gained 2 pounds.
Talk about discouraged.....yesterday, I was so low.
I'm thinking "come on, what do I have to do here?"
"give me a break!!!!!"
By this morning however, I was righted....I'm back on track.
And I know this.....
the LORD is showing me something
so good,
so priceless,
so BIG....
THIS
this experience
is the only way I'm going to "get it".
So, today, I submit again to the LORD'S leading
to His showing me what's good and right and healthy
to eat,
to Him showing me to turn to the right or to the left.
And I so desire
to follow where He leads.
Thanks for listening to me share my heart.
Maybe you relate.
In any case,
Blessings on your day!
Gwynie Pie
Oh Gwyn, I can SOOOO relate to this pain! It is on my mind daily, sometimes constantly. Thanks for sharing this with such humble transparency. I'm anxious to know more... so let us in on it if you feel like you can. I will stand with you in this fight sister. In fact, I'm hitting my knees for you right now.
ReplyDeleteYour authenticity is so refreshing. I have felt your feelings and agree with your conclusions. May the Lord give us the grace we need to glorify Him. Love you,
ReplyDeleteI will pray for Him to give you the strength!!! YOU CAN DO IT!! :)
ReplyDeleteHi Gwyn!
ReplyDeleteWow! I love reading your blog! I have been doing a weight loss challenge with about 50 or so other ladies. A friend from church posted this challenge on her blog in May hoping for at least 5 ladies to join her for 6 weeks. Anyway, it has turned into an amazing group of ladies encouraging and helping each other through this journey. After the first challenge was over, many of us continued, and more joined in. I am now one of the "leaders" that sends out an encouraging email each week, and I would love to use your post in my email to the ladies because I have been going on this same type of journey and you just say it so well! Your blog is a blessing and I love knowing how your precious family is doing. Tell William I said hi!
Much love!
Jami
January 2008 I prayed about a weight loss plan that would work for me. I researched and prayed. Researched and prayed.
ReplyDeleteThe Lord answered my prayer. I lost 16 pounds from January - April, 2008.
Since then I have lost 6 more. I am now at a good weight for me. I have an article coming out about it in August. My sidebar has the information on where you can read it.
I know it's hard. It's hard at any weight.
Melanie@Bella~Mella